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Thumper’s Law and leadership

September 8, 2010 By 2 Comments

Bob Sutton picked up on a pertinent subject once again in bad is stronger than good. I was initially most amazed by the need for five times as many affirmations as negatives in a marriage or romantic relationship.  I confess to being a grumpy husband at times. John Gottman wrote some good books and in at least one, demonstrated that he could predict marital success just by listening to whether spouses despised each other in a brief, video-taped record of a marriage interaction.

I’ve been married for 36 years so she must still be unaware of some foibles or maybe we bested the 5:1 ratio; else she would have departed long ago. So I’ll tentatively and temporarily rest on that subject and move on to organizations. (btw, don’t ever permanently rest on that one – it’s a lonely place.)

I also confess to being a grumpy boss at times. “Make your strengths productive and your weaknesses irrelevant”, quoth Peter Drucker. That’s my main take on Sutton’s excellent post. Making strengths productive neutralizes negatives as the weaknesses fade into irrelevance and strengths surge in productivity. If I’m listening my weaknesses should be pretty obvious. If I’m a part of any kind of reality-based community my followers should be handling this part.

If you’re managing and leading have you realized how hard it is sometimes to say something nice? It’s like you have cashed in your integrity or something. It is not a lie to pick out a modest strength of a staff member and make it known. Thumper got it right in Bambi… “if you can’t say somethin’ nice, don’t say nothin’ at all”. This is now known as Thumper’s Law.

We need a brand of Thumper leadership where the first impulse is to consider the positive. Sometimes it simply requires speaking change proleptically into being. That’s a method for articulating a future hope into reality that often works.

So at your next Fortune 100 c-suite meeting, just stand up and shout, “I’m with Thumper!”

And report back to this blog because we all want to hear what happened.

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About Wes Balda
Dr. Wes Balda is President of the Simeon Institute and prior Executive Director of the Oregon Business Institute at the University of Oregon. He also led the Centre for Advancing International Management [AIM Centre] and was Professor of Management at St. George’s University. Previously he was Dean of a School of Management in Oregon, and Director of Executive and PhD Programs at The Drucker School, Claremont Graduate University.

  • Dano

    I suspect if I attempted to claim alligence to a cartoon rabbit I be told to make like one and start running.
    “If I’m a part of any kind of reality-based community my followers should be handling this part.”
    Should be? Why leave it so ambigious? If you have a known weakness, hire those that fill the gap. If you don’t have that power, be an adult and admit your weakness. You subordinates will appreciate it.
    I don’t think Thumper ever went to Basic Combat Training. I’ve seen both kids of leaders in the Army. Those that are Hard-A$$s all the time (it was horrible working for them until I learned how to fix my issues) stick to one way of correcting/motivating, forcing the less-adaptive, younger soldiers to change to survive. This can be helpful to an extent. The junior soldier will (hopefully) learn some positive skills, but it’s hard to really when the only reason you are trying to improve is to get the person off your back.
    I’ve also had leaders that practice “situational leadership.” They will use different approaches based on the type of soldier they have and what they respond to. Sometimes it takes a sign of weakness (wow! My leader is human! He does make mistakes, I’m not alone!) to make them respond. Sometimes they need to be talked to like a child, sometimes like an adult subordinate and sometimes they need to be talked to like a dog that just peed on you bed because he’s ornery.
    Leadership is not always like marriage. Sometimes you need to get the job done, damn the torpedos.

    • Wes Balda

      I agree that making nice in a military situation brings us to a whole new place! My guess is that those who choose to serve have some idea before they show up that Thumper-type dialogues may be less likely. Good points!